What I meant when I published the last post: I was in a long term relationship a few months ago. It ended when my girlfriend decided to hang herself in our bedroom closet.
Christ, I thought I was dealing with this like a normal person. Or maybe this is how a normal person deals with it. I don't know. All I know is that it's eroding my sanity to have to be embraced by my rotting dead girlfriend every night.
I'm afraid that I might embrace her back one night, and then that's when she'll drag me into the ground with her. I'm afraid of succumbing to her. I'm afraid of being buried alive with her.
I feel so goddamn guilty, too.
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